Sony shows hideously ugly laptops

CES 2011: Trade show uglyness personified

Sony logoSONY HAD TWO rather hideous laptops on display at CES that caught my attention, one was hideously ugly, the other was a Brazos box. In a stunning turn of events, neither caught fire while we were in attendance.

The first VAIOlation of good, nay acceptable, taste was the Sony EB series laptop. We are not sure about the one on display, the normal display tags were missing, and it wasn’t worth asking about. No, not because we didn’t want to know, but the sooner we could purge it from our neurons, the better.

Sony Vaio EB

Sony EB, no Sony Style here, or maybe there is

Should you want to slog through the Sony site to find more on this box, feel free, but we would recommend welding goggles and Haldol, it is worth the possible side effects.

Until our stomachs gave in on the EB page, we found out that it has “Playstation Anywhere” functionality. We had no idea that this feature existed, but the pseudo-english pseudo-tech is priceless!

“PLAYSTATION ANYWHERE. Access all your content that won’t fit on your PC by connecting to your PlayStation-from[SIC] virtually anywhere in the world. With Sony’s exclusive Remote Play functionality, you can connect to your PlayStation almost anywhere you go. All you need is a high-speed internet connection and you can access all of your photos, downloaded videos, music and more.”

Why is this so funny? Think there is anything on your PS3’s miniscule HD that won’t fit on your laptop? Sony DRMs you, no, not the rootkit again, but locks you out of your ‘purchased’ content, then they sell it back to you as a feature. If you are dumb enough to buy a laptop that hideous, you will probably be glad that you have this ‘functionality’. You probably will also like the clashing green, pink and yellow headphones as well, but are obviously too dumb to buy non-DRM infected media in the first place.

Sony Vaio YB

Thin is not always beautiful

The other one is the new Y-series laptops, and while it is not retina-searing, it is ugly enough to unsettle a mortuary worker. Lars wrote it up nicely with specs and all here, and as you can see from his pictures, neon lime green, silver and black is going to be the next big thing, or maybe it is pink silver and black. The ones I saw were only a clashing metallic red, silver, and black, and that was bad enough.

If you buy one of these, you will obviously get the basics, build quality that would embarrass a late 1970s Detroit automotive worker after a 6-pack lunch, DRM infestations, crapware, a memory stick reader (really, let it go Sony, no one cares), and a keyhole resolution screen, but you don’t get the Playstation anywhere. For that, you win.S|A

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Charlie Demerjian

Roving engine of chaos and snide remarks at SemiAccurate
Charlie Demerjian is the founder of Stone Arch Networking Services and is a technology news site; addressing hardware design, software selection, customization, securing and maintenance, with over one million views per month. He is a technologist and analyst specializing in semiconductors, system and network architecture. As head writer of, he regularly advises writers, analysts, and industry executives on technical matters and long lead industry trends. Charlie is also available through Guidepoint and Mosaic. FullyAccurate